So I took the kid to a party on Saturday. Boy have things changed. I used to worry that staying out too late would piss off my parents, now I worry about pissing off my kid.
It was great actually. I realize that this is the way to do it. I got to the party early enough that everyone was coherent and I had a few good conversations, stayed just long enough to have a few drinks and have everyone ooh and aah over what a damn cute kid I have. Then I left before anything got broken, anyone puked, or there was any real uncomfortable or embarrassing situations. This is ideal because a) I still get to go out and party, b) I don't have to pay for babysitting, c) I look like a damn good mom whose kid knows how to party and d) my kid genuinely knows how to party.
Taking your kid out to a house party doesn't have to be a sign of a neglectful parent as long as you follow a few key rules. Firstly, if you plan on having too much to drink then make sure there is someone close by who is more responsible than you. Another key is to announce to all who will listen "if you can see her then she's your problem." This should ensure that there is at least one person watching at all times, so you can just go ahead and ignore her and pretend for one blissful moment that you are responsible for no one but yourself and you're 19 again and fuck the world, live fast, die young woohhooooo!!! Then you feel a tug on your pants and a tiny blond midget person says "mommy, I have a poo."
Then it's time to go home and if you've played your cards right then you haven't done anything stupid, your kid hasn't done anything (too) stupid, no one has called children's services on your drunk ass, and all of your friends who don't have kids can take heart in the fact that yes, there IS life after childbirth.
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